Sex Criminals Vol. 2
Words by Matt Fraction
Art by Chip Zdarsky
Suzie and Jon’s new-relationship honeymoon is over.
After the rush of discovering they can both use sex to stop
time and then using that power to rob banks wears off, the two protagonists of
Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky’s Sex
Criminals settle into the same trappings of habit and resentment that lead
to the demise of many couples. They fight and end up “taking a break.” Suzie
even goes so far as to ask her substitute gynecologist, Robert Rainbow (great
name) out for coffee. Then they fight some more and end up having makeup sex
and getting back together.
All the while, the Sex Police are watching.
“Kegelface,” “the Bus Driver” and “the Ninja,” who it should
be noted are not actual police, are keeping tabs on everybody with sex-related
powers. They have extensive files on Jon, Suzie and everyone else (yes, there
are others) who has powers that manifest upon climaxing. They also flat-out
demolish Suzie’s library right in front of her, escalating things considerably.
As ever, the true enemy of Sex Criminals
is sexual repression, as demonstrated by Kegelface’s … um … kegelface.
Their war with the Sex Police aside, Suzie and Jon have
real-people problems. Suzie feels bloated and unattractive after going back on
birth control pills. Jon has “brain stuff” – ADHD, OCD, paranoia, stress shingles,
whatever it is that compels him to poop in his boss’ potted plant – for which
he hasn’t taken medication in a while because he feels it dulls his senses (and
turns him into a penisless ghost). During the course of the trade, he ends up
switching therapists to an abrasive, existentialist, bearded gentleman he met
in a mall food court who looks suspiciously like Fraction. (Those Fraction-De
Connicks have a habit of being drawn into their own books: Fraction’s wife, Kelly
Sue, is the template for a sadistic, mind-screwing, pink hologram in her Image
series Bitch Planet.)
Multiple people get to tell their side of the story in this
volume, to the point where the reader has to sort through four color-coded
narration boxes in one panel. Far from being messy, though, it allows greater
insight into more characters. I loved the flashback sequence for Robert Rainbow
in issue #8, especially the fact that the hottest woman he’d ever known – his
older brother’s high school girlfriend – was a pink-haired tribute to the
be-Mohawk-ed Storm of the ’80s X-Men comics.
Among those addressing the camera is Suzie and Jon’s first
ally against the Sex Police, stripper-turned-porn star-turned multi-Ph.D.
Jazmine St. Cocaine (aka Rae Anne Toots, aka Dr. Ana Kincaid). St. Cocaine is
the first to reveal a new set of powers: She can astral-project upon climaxing,
like a sexual Charles Xavier getting ready to fight the Shadow King.
Much as the Sex Police would like, the protagonists aren’t keeping
their abilities a secret from everyone. Suzie, in a moment of reconciliation,
tells her best friend, Rachelle, what she can do. Rachelle responds by telling
Suzie about a time she queefed so hard her bedsheets rippled, which is probably
the best reaction to a reveal of superpowers since Ultimate Peter Parker
revealed himself as Ultimate Spider-Man to Ultimate Mary Jane.
One of the things I like about this book is that while it’s
about sex, the central characters aren’t Amanda Conner pinups. Jon is
Frankenstein’s Monster tall and has a big nose. Suzie is short and a little
thick with thick, frizzy hair. If anything, their “real” body types make them more
of an adorable couple worth rooting for.
Favorite Easter egg: In issue 9, three stores are lined up
across the street from Suzie’s library. A sign on the right says “Fashion? Turn
to the left.” A sign on the left says “Fashion? Turn to the right.” In between:
“Oooo Fashion!” If you’re not a sucker for David Bowie-based sight gags, then I
don’t want to know you.
Second-favorite Easter egg: In the same issue, Jazmine St.
Cocaine’s first porno is titled The
Lick-ed and the Divine, a spoof of the Image series The Wicked and the Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie.
Dan Grote’s new novel,
Magic Pier, is available however you get your books online. He has been writing
for The Matt Signal since 2014. He and Matt have been friends since the days
when making it to issue 25 guaranteed you a foil cover.
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